Love is NOT Rude

He who blesses his friend with a loud voice early in the morning, it will be reckoned a curse to him. —Proverbs 27:14

Let’s face it, no one likes to be around someone who is rude. It’s that person at the grocery store who is chatting away on their cellphone, LOUDLY – while ignoring the cashier who is trying to check them through the line. It’s that person at the movie theater who chooses to carry on a conversation with their companion during the movie. It’s the things that make us absolutely CRAZY!

As the years pass I’m noticing our society is becomming very selfish and rude.

Yes, they go hand in hand.

We have become a society of, “what’s in it for me?” people who would step on others to get ahead in the world. Our “me – me – me” thought processes have filtered down into the next generation of children who are more concerned about getting .vs giving.

I am guilty of this as much as anyone.

It is one of those personality traits that make us avoid certain people – but how often are we checking our own rudeness levels?

Rudeness can break relationships – especially marriages. It can errode trust quickly and can drive a wedge between husband and wife very quicky. In fact, many people who have marriage issues find that rudeness is one of the top complaints about their spouses.

It’s true.

In our family we call being rude the ‘no filter between the brain and the mouth’ syndrome. It’s speaking without thinking how you may make someone feel. Or worse…not caring how they will feel.

Keeping your rudeness monster in check can be very challenging, especially if your spouse is rude to you. The Bible verse “an eye for an eye” seems to be the mantra for rudeness in many marriages today. Your spouse does something rude to you…and you retaliate and do something rude right back. It’s like children on a playground who keep going back and forth with insults - both looking to WIN the battle.

Truth is, no one wins the rudness battle – especially the marriage itself.

The only person that you can control is YOU.

So, you need to lead by example. Get your own rudeness monster in check and give what you would want to receive.

Not sure how you are being rude? This is very common – it’s difficult for us to see our own faults and how we wrong others. It takes deep introspection to really get down to the deepest part of yourself and see the truth of what really exists there.

Here are a few questions to help you take a good look at yourself:

• How does your spouse feel about the way you speak and act around them?
• How does your behavior affect your mate’s sense of worth and self-esteem?
• Would your husband or wife say you’re a blessing, or that you’re condescending and embarrassing

Doing this the first time was really an eye-opener for me – not to mention very uncomfortable. I thought that I could do no wrong until I really sat down and thought about it. I have embarassed him on many occasions with my rudeness and many things that I have said to him do nothing to pump up his self-esteem. They tore it down.

Talk about a true revelation!

So, how do we rid ourselves of the rudeness monster? 

We live our lives by 4 basic principals:

1. Treat others the way we would like to be treated
2. If you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all
3. Honor your promises – ALL your promises
4. Carry the same standard of practice with all people

Keeping these 4 basic principals on our mind every day will allow us to be a more self-less person. It will keep the focus on what we can do for others .vs what others can do for us. It is through giving and not receiving that we become truly happy.
“The words from the mouth of a wise man are gracious.” (Ecclesiastes 10:12).

Today’s Dare

Ask your spouse to tell you three
things that cause him or her to be
uncomfortable or irritated with you.
You must do so without attacking them
or justifying your behavior. This is
from their perspective only.

I would love to hear how you did today! What things did your spouse tell you? How difficult was it to hold your tounge? Please share these at the bottom of this post so that others can benefit from what you have learned and so we can all support eachother in our journey.
 

Need To Go Back?

Day 1
Day 2
Day 3
Day 4

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