Love is not selfish

Be devoted to one another in brotherly love;
give preference to one another in honor. —Romans 12:10

We live in a world that is enamored with “self.” The culture around us teaches us to focus on our appearance, feelings, and personal desires as the top priority. The goal, it seems, is to chase the highest level of happiness possible. The danger from this kind of thinking, however, becomes painfully apparent once inside a marriage relationship.

If there were ever a word that basically means the opposite of love, it is selfishness. Unfortunately it is something that is ingrained into every person from birth. You can see it in the way young children act, and often in the way adults mistreat one another. Almost every sinful action ever committed can be traced back to a selfish motive. It is a trait we hate in other people but justify in ourselves. Yet you cannot point out the many ways your spouse is selfish without admitting that you can be selfish too. That would be hypocritical.

Why do we have such low standards for ourselves but high expectations for our mate?

The answer is a painful pill to swallow.

We are all selfish.

When a husband puts his interests, desires, and priorities in front of his wife, that’s a sign of selfishness. When a wife constantly complains about the time and energy she spends meeting the needs of her husband, that’s a sign of selfishness. But love “does not seek its own” (1 Corinthians 13:5). Loving couples—the ones who are enjoying the full purpose of marriage—are bent on taking good care of the other flawed human they get to share life with. That’s because true love looks for ways to say “yes.”

One ironic aspect of selfishness is that even generous actions can be selfish if the motive is to gain bragging rights or receive a reward. If you do even a good thing to deceitfully manipulate your husband or wife, you are still being selfish. The bottom line is that you either make decisions out of love for others or love for yourself.

Love is never satisfied except in the welfare of others. You can’t be acting out of real love and selfishness at the same time. Choosing to love your mate will cause you to say “no” to what you want so you can say “yes” to what they need. That’s putting the happiness of your partner above your own. It doesn’t mean you can never experience happiness, but you don’t negate the happiness of your spouse so you can enjoy it yourself.

Love also leads to inner joy. When you prioritize the well-being of your mate, there is a resulting fulfillment that cannot be duplicated by selfish actions. This is a benefit that God created and reserves for those who genuinely demonstrate love. The truth is, when you relinquish your rights for the sake of your mate, you get a chance to lose yourself to the greater purpose of marriage.

Nobody knows you as well as your spouse. And that means no one will be quicker to recognize a change when you deliberately start sacrificing your wants and wishes to make sure his or her needs are met.

If you find it hard to sacrifice your own desires to benefit your spouse, then you may have a deeper problem with selfishness than you want to admit.

Ask yourself these questions:

• Do I truly want what’s best for my husband or wife?

• Do I want them to feel loved by me?

• Do they believe I have their best interests in mind?

• Do they see me as looking out for myself first?

Whether you like it or not, you have a reputation in the eyes of those around you, especially in the eyes of your spouse. But is it a loving reputation? Remember, your marriage partner also has the challenge of loving a selfish person. So determine to be the first to demonstrate real love to them, with your eyes wide open. And when all is said and done, you’ll both be more fulfilled.

“Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves” (Philippians 2:3).

Today’s Dare

Whatever you put your time, energy, and
money into will become more important
to you. It’s hard to care for something
you are not investing in. Along with
restraining from negative comments,
buy your spouse something that says,
“I was thinking of you today.”

I would love to hear how you did today! What act of kindness did you choose to do today? How did your spouse react?

So, I’ve been doing some thinking.  Typically this would be when my husband would cringe because he knew more work was coming his way.  Funny thing is, he is never wrong about this   Sorry honey – get ready for changes

Anyways, I have been doing some thinking about our website Everyday Life and Happiness.com.  After doing some thinking and reading I realized that I really didn’t have a clear direction for the site.  Some posts were about happiness, some posts were about my daily life and some posts were about coupons and freebies for you all to enjoy.  A jumbled mess – but still helpful and happy

So, I’m considering options as to what direction our blog should take in the future.  Are you enjoying the freebies and coupons?  Do you enjoy the uplifting stories?  Have you begun the Love Dare and want that to proceed forward?  Or, do you have a suggestion of a NEW direction to take?

What do YOU like about our blog?

Gift of Kindness is a global initiative with one primary purpose… to inspire others to be kind, compassionate and loving to one another… at home, at work, and in every interaction throughout the day by practicing intentional acts of kindess.

They have introduced the “Kindness Card” the card enables you to present a reminder of kindness to its recipient.

Example of use:
“you pull into a drive-thru and pay for your order. Instead of just pulling off, give the Gift of Kindness and pay for the person behind. Sure it may cost you $5 but the simple act will have a profound impact on that person . It’s easy, you tell the cashier you want to pay for that person behind you too. You then hand the cashier a KINDNESS CARD and ask that they give the card to” the person when they pull through to pay.

Hopefully that person will “pay it forward” and make a small gesture of kindness towards another! Like a chain reaction!

Go here to request some FREE cards —>  

You can also download FREE PDF versions off the same page just look for links on the right hand side of page!

Thanks, Chi Town Cheapskates

Here’s a great opportunity to try Oxy Skin Care products for acne!  Head over to Free Sample of Oxy Skin Care  to get your sample today!

Thanks, mojosavings

Sign up for Ruby Tuesday’s So Connected Club and you can print out a BUY ONE – GET ONE FREE (BOGO) Free Entree coupon (up to $10).

Go here to sign up. After a brief questionaire, put in your email address. Wait for a confirmation email and click on it. You’ll get your BOGO coupon within 15 minutes.

Thanks, Mojosavings!

You gotta try these – they are AWESOME!!  Get a FREE sample of Philosphy’s Purity Made Simple One-Step Facial Cleansing Cloths via Facebook.

Thanks, Cha-Ching on a Shoestring!

Head on OVER HERE to print off a coupon for $1.25/1 Reynolds Wrap Non Stick Aluminum Foil.

Thanks, MySweetSavings!

AMC Theatres is offering a coupon in their Facebook page that will get you Any Size Fountain Drink and Popcorn for $1 each!  If you have ever bought drinks and popcorn at the movies, you know what a bargain that is!

The coupon is good on July 25th only!

Thanks, Couponing 101!

What an amazing story!!!

A terminally ill boy who was not expected to live past six-months-old, has stunned doctors by surviving and holding his own art exhibition.

Leo Haines, aged five, was born with cerebral palsy and a terminal condition affecting his lungs and heart.

Doctors told his mother Marianna Haines, 26, that little Leo would die in his first year. But his fighting spirit saw him through and after spending his first brithday in hospital, Leo was able to move home.

Cerebral Palsy sufferer Leo Haines, 5, with mother Marianna with some of his artworks. He was not expected to reach his first birthday

The talented young artist, from Taunton Somerset, began painting alongside his grandmother Marianna Thomas, who quickly recognised his talent.

Leo now has 40 unique works, reminiscent of the American abstract artist Jackson Pollock, featuring in their very own art exhibition where they are being sold for charity.

His grandfather, Brian Thomas, 59, said: ‘My wife, his grandmother, is a well-known local artist and it started with Leo joining in, basically uninvited, into her work.

‘So she used to get him a canvas and set him up with paints on the floor and it just went from there.

‘It began by getting him to recognise different colours and mixtures and shapes. Now it is his favourite pastime.

‘I suppose you’d call them impressionism – they’re definitely inspired by his choice of colours, and I think he’s got a very good choice in colours.

‘And they’re really quite good. The first day of the exhibition a man came in and got halfway down the wall and turned to me and asked, ‘Are you Leo?’ – quite seriously.

‘He thought they’d been painted by an adult, and I pointed him to the other wall which tells Leo’s story. He immediately bought a painting. We’ve got about 40 in the exhibition, and they represent two years of Leo’s work.’

Leo was born with cerebral palsy and terminal pulmonary vein stenosis, a condition that means the veins running from his heart to his lungs will become eventually blocked, killing him.

Doctors told his mother, a care assistant from Taunton, Somerset, he was unlikely to survive past six months old, and in the first year of his life Leo’s family was told nine times to prepare for the worst.

But Leo, who suffers from intermittent deafness, battled through and eventually moved home, where he developed a fascination for art as part of therapy to help him communicate.

Now he creates dazzling abstract works full of feeling with sweeping colours on black backgrounds.

Leo’s grandfather, a retired electronics and communications worker, added: ‘Amongst his biggest problems is the ability to communicate because he has cerebral palsy.

Little Leo’s work has been likened to Jackson Pollock’s paintings such as ‘Number 17, 1949′ pictured

‘One of the ways we actually got him to communicate is through activities – painting is one of those things that he can do.

‘My wife’s taught him a sort-of no boundaries approach. It has been great for Leo – it’s got him communicating. He has at least three sessions a week, and in the winter four or five.

‘Some children of his age would not concentrate for more than 15 minutes, but he loves painting so much he can be absorbed for an hour and a half.’

The paintings, which range from £4 to £110, are being sold at Taunton Library until Saturday. All proceeds are for the children’s unit at Musgrove Park Hospital where he still receives treatment.

Source:  DailyMail