Everyday Life and Happiness

Okay, if you have a toddler then you understand the trials and tribulations of the terrible 2′s. Although, I’d beg to differ that this terrible stage goes MUCH further than 2!

We’ve all been there ~ you are at the grocery store and your 4 year old, who hasn’t had his nap, decides he is absolutely not leaving the store without a Hot Wheels car! When you say no he lays down in the middle of the aisle and screams at the top of his lungs! You feel that frustration and anger bubbling inside much like lava reaching the top of a volcano…and you feel ready to blow your stack! You want to say, “Stop this or you are not watching TV for a week!”

Sound familiar?

If so you are not alone. This still happens to me with my 4 year old Jack. I suppose this is mainly our fault because we spoilled him, allowing him to get a Hot Wheel car every time we went to the store. However, with money as tight as it is, we just can’t afford it anymore. And *BAM* you get the tantrum.

In an effort to not only keep ourselves happy (and stop the people staring at us from around every grocery aisle) ~ we typically end up giving in to the demand. This signals to our children that their behavior is a way to get exactly what they want and they will repeat it over and over again knowing it will yield them the same result. Raise your hand if you are guilty of this

*raises her hand*

There are much better ways to deal with a tantrum than threats. Here are the top 7 ways you can parent without threats:

1.  Getting your child go to bed and remain there
Instead of Saying: “If you get out of that bed again, I’ll…”
Try Saying: “After I put you to bed, I expect you to stay there.”
Why?: Your expectation is clear an unemotional.

2. Getting your child to eat their vegetables
Instead of Saying: “You aren’t leaving that table until you eat those vegetables!”
Try Saying: “Remember ~ we won’t have a snack before bedtime.”
Why?: It reminds your child that the kitchen is closed after dinner and still allows them to be able to choose whether or not to eat their vegetables.

3. Getting your child to brush their teeth
Instead of Saying:  “I won’t read you a bedtime story if you don’t brush your teeth!”
Try Saying:  “It is time to get ready for bed. What do we do first?”
Why?:  It reminds your child it is bedtime and includes them in the bedtime routine by asking them what is done first.

4. Getting your child to stop running down the aisle at the grocery store
Instead of Saying:  “Stop running or there will be NO TV when we get home!”
Try Saying:  “Can you help me find your favorite fruit snack?”
Why?:   It distracts your child from the negative behavior while offering them something to help with. Kids LOVE to help!

5.  Getting your child to ask without whining
Instead of Saying:  “If you whine one more time I’ll take away your …!”
Try Saying:  “I would like to hear what you have to say but I can only hear your normal voice.”
Why?:  It tells your child you want to hear what they have to say and shows them what tone to say it in.

6.  Getting your child to clean up their room
Instead of Saying:  “You aren’t eating dinner until this room is clean!”
Try Saying:  “I would like you to pick up your toys and put them away in the toy chest. Would you like to do this before or after dinner?”
Why?:  It gives your child a choice but still keeps your expectation crystal clear.

7.  Getting your child to stop tattling
Instead of Saying:  “Stop Tattling!”
Try Saying:  “It sounds like you are upset with your brother. You need to tell him why.”
Why?:  It helps your child understand that they need to work out problems with others directly.

Wishing you a Blessed Day!

Image Courtesy of Vivek Chugg.